Fear doesn’t exist
It’s not real no matter how strongly you feel it… It is, however, an indication of where you’re lowering your standards and not living in integrity with yourself.
Your ego (and it’s nature to protect you at all costs) is what makes the perception of fear feel so real.
Let me explain:
When you look at a spoon, you know it’s a spoon. Anyone who looks at it knows it’s a spoon. When you look at the sky and see a cloud shaped like a dolphin, you’re still just looking at a cloud. Your perception of it sees the dolphin. I might see nothing at all.
Fear is your dolphin. Is it really there? Can you prove it? Is there a dolphin in every cloud?
Consider for a moment that FEAR is the biggest, laziest, excuse of them all. Using the word FEAR means you don’t have to dig any deeper: You get to avoid the discomfort of change.
What if the word FEAR is, in fact, a “catch-all” word for all the better words that would accurately describe where your mindset, disciplined practice and emotions are falling short.
So what is it you are actually experiencing when you feel “fear”?
Lack of systems. Lack of mindset. Lack of courage. Lack of love. Lack of self-esteem. Lack of faith. Lack of trust. Lack of discipline. Lack of practice. Lack of awareness. Lack of emotion. Lack of critical thinking. Lack of [fill-in-the-blank]
Is your fear real? NO! The truth is that it is a reminder that you haven’t been playing full out as your best self. Fear is your ego giving you a way to avoid the reality of this little truth.
The good news is that knowing this, you get to choose to step up!
Where does your fear come from?
What you [think] you know is 100% based on the full experience of the life that you have lived up until this very moment where you are reading THESE WORDS. Almost everything is a very well calculated assumption you make in a split second based on all of the information you’ve received over the years through your 5 senses (sight, sound, smell, touch, taste) and analytic/logical thought. You need these assumptions to stay sane.
Imagine having to decide every time you look at a coffee cup if it’s safe to pick it up. Or whether your partner is a friend or foe… the billion bits of information you’d go through before lunchtime would make it impossible to get anything done. So you gather information over life, group it up into a useable generality and label it as safe or unsafe. Over your lifetime, you’ve collected many of these groups and automatically take them as truth, rarely questioning an update.
When one of those groups are created in a highly undesirable emotional state (panic, sadness, anger, shock etc)… it automatically gets labelled as unsafe and instantly, a “fear” is seeded and overtime, blossoms into your perception of reality. And the pattern between cause > trigger > reaction gets shaped.
Ex: Someone is listening to me > having been laughed at once before > fear of public speaking.
What if I could de-code the real meaning of your fears, right now?
Regardless of when or how your fear was formed, fear is one of the greatest emotional gifts you’ll ever feel. It’s telling you exactly where you need to go/what you need to do to get closer to your Ultimate self – Your Best Self – That version of you that knows no limits, lives from love, sees the possibilities and receives what you dream of.
For fear to be a gift to you – you must be ready to give it up. You must be excited to change your story. You must be committed to having no more excuses for your status quo.
Are you ready to let go of your fear?
(If you’ve answered NO to this last question, or if there was even just a split-second of hesitation is answering “HELL YES” – you’re not ready to read what’s coming next).
All of our human behaviour is driven by 2 factors. Either we are seeking pleasure, or, we are avoiding pain. For almost all of us, “avoiding pain” is the stronger of the two drivers. This is the root of all of our fears. Pain. Or rather… the assumption that we will experience pain; which is what becomes a perceived fear.
Psychological pain (aka perceived fear) is the basis of the fears we run away from most of the time: the fear of failure or rejection; the fear of loneliness or being laughed at. Perceived Fear underlies why most of us never give our dreams a chance. It stops us from giving 100% of ourselves in any given situation. It stops us from being authentic and true to what makes us happy.
It shows us where we haven’t levelled up our standards:
It shows us where we still have work to do around building systems; Strengthening our mindset; Showing courage; Having love; Developing self-esteem; Surrendering to faith; Growing trust; Creating discipline; Practicing; Becoming aware; Trusting emotion; Learning critical thinking; and [fill-in-the-blank]
Think back to the last time you felt fear. Which of the above would have resolved it?
Integrity vs Fear
The level of integrity you have with yourself shows up in your standards. Your standards are what you do, even when no one is watching. Your standards show up everywhere – in every decision you make. What you hold yourself accountable to every day in private allows you to be prepared for whatever presents itself to you in public.
Does having 100% integrity with yourself mean you feel no fear ever again? Of course not! We are still human with 10,000-year-old reptilian brains meant to protect us from danger.
It does, however, mean you know the difference between real danger and a perceived story you tell yourself to limit your potential.
Knowing that fear is just information on how to step up is often enough of an internal shift to go from feeling fear and doing it anyway.
What could you do if you let go of fear? Let me know in the comments one big dream that’s been held back because of fear.